Fool: TECH

I was SUPER pumped going into Tech on Sunday, and it went beautifully!

Tech rehearsals can sometimes be a bit of a backslide for actors - or well, let's say a hold on gaining progress - due to technical complications and figuring out cues. But the tech portion of rehearsal flew by. It helps that it's only a one-act show, but I've never seen a tech rehearsal run more smoothly! Aaron and Bo had already accomplished so much ahead of time, and everyone's professionalism made for smooth sailing and even a little bit of fun! After that we had another excellent run, which was also great considering we had a few days off... We even got done 2 hours EARLY!!! That's UNHEARD OF with tech rehearsals, so Aaron treated us all to dinner and margaritas at Botanas!

Fool: a breather

It's been nice to have the last two days off from rehearsal. Not that I could help reflecting from time to time, and I still did a lot of work for the play by shopping like mad for different costume pieces. And I also dyed my hair darker to help look a little more Mexican for Bo's idea of the character... But it's been good to have a tiny break from running the show because it can be very draining, and we're to a point where we're really ready for all the final tech aspects and an audience reaction because we've done just about everything we can with experimenting with lines and discovering things about the characters and their relationships to the others.

I'm REALLY looking forward to going into Tech tomorrow. Adding the final sound cues and costume pieces will make that little difference that helps to finish the performance!

Fool For LOVE

You only fight with those you love... That sounds weird, right? But when you think about it, you would just walk away from a fight or ignore some petty person who doesn't mean anything to you.

Fool For Love is not a play about hatred. There is pain and frustration and fear. There is also attraction and care and a lot of love.

We had another solid run today, and then we altered a few of the beats' intentions slightly to add even more facets of the character relationships. Earlier this week we changed a little blocking to add some physical intimidation through Eddie's character which raises the intensity between him and May, and in turn, it causes more fear for May's side of the situation....
But today we talked about how much these characters love and care deeply for each other. It's not just anger and fighting and then sometimes some really passionate attraction. So we found some really great moments to be more sincere and sweet with the lines, and I love what we worked out! It makes the characters so much more real and dimensional, and I think it tugs more at the heart strings now. If we can see how much they still love each other, we can better understand why they keep coming together and why they stay and fight so much. Otherwise one of them would just walk away from the other and never turn back.

Fool: Breakthrough run

As I'm going through the script tonight and reviewing line notes and specific moments, I'm getting OBNOXIOUSLY specific about things I want to change or improve on. But we're already at a place where we can get that picky, which is a fabulous place to be with still a few rehearsals to spare before tech!

Today we ran the show twice, which is draining, but it was completely worth it because the second run was a total breakthrough for us! We had our best run yet and performed on a new level together, we found more variety, more connections, even more organic emotions through tiny line mistakes or moments that struck us as humorous. (It can actually be beneficial to struggle for a line or crack up at something sometimes because it forces you to "listen" more and "react" as an actor - two vital qualities in bringing a character to life. Those mistakes can reveal something about the dynamic between the characters when you're rehearsing and playing with different choices). During the second run Alex brought a refreshing energy to Eddie and Jeff got caught up in the emotions of The Old Man, and Derek's comedic relief had even more impact, it was all very exciting. We could feel it in our bones as we performed, and I LOVE that connection with fellow actors when you know you're really cookin' together!

Fool: Mercurial May

Today Bo said something very interesting and helpful about May and Eddie and how they're mercurial. (Quickly changeable, fickle, erratic, flighty, indecisive, volatile... I also gained insight from Bo on why Shakespeare named Romeo's friend Mercutio!)

The conclusion that they're mercurial stresses the need for variety in May's character. I will take this concept to heart and improve on finding the highs and lows in May's emotional roller coaster. And this will help her become more three dimensional and show her range as well as the yin/yang dynamic with Eddie.

The more I reflect on it, the more perfect the word "mercurial" describes their reactions. One minute they hate the other, but then they switch because they can't lose each other. May will cut Eddie down in one line, but then she can't deny her attraction to him. She swears she doesn't need him and refuses to look at him, but then lunges after him when he tries to leave. She initiates a kiss and then instigates a fight. She is vulnerable and needy and feels the deepest pain for being tossed aside by Eddie but then is harsh, cold and threatening. And the same goes with Eddie, he swears to do better and change for her but then leaves. Then he's back trying to charm and impress her, but then is also very intimidating, dangerous and competitive... They let their emotions get the best of them and nobody can predict what'll happen next. They push each others' buttons and react in all sorts of ways. Will they be tender with each other and have passionate sex? Will they shoot each other? They're not the smartest tools in the shed and they are ruled by impulse.

Fool: Variety

I have a tendency to push hard and sometimes rush lines. And while Bo is happy that I can connect with May's emotions and he mentioned that this quality is part of why he cast me, May needs variety and depth. There is a ton of intensity and frustration between May and Eddie, but too much of playing this one note won't portray enough of May's personality or what she's going through. So yesterday Bo asked me to really start searching for other choices rather than just pushing at Eddie in anger, and find other ways of approaching the relationship between Eddie and May. Sometimes May can be at a loss for what to do next or even be sarcastic instead of always throwing daggers at Eddie. That way the icy glares and cutting remarks will be more effective when they're called for!

Another example of needing variety in delivery is that May has three different sections where she makes a small speech about how she needs Eddie to leave and get out of her life because she's too hurt and she can't do this anymore. But each time needs to have a slightly different or hightened motive to it, otherwise Sam Shepard wouldn't have chosen to write such similar mini monologs for her.

Today I played a lot with new options, and Bo was appreciative of that. Some worked and some didn't, but we're in great shape and have a handful of rehearsals to keep tweaking.

However, we had somewhat of a rocky run through in general... Granted, we're adding more props and technical cues, but we backslid on a few specifics that we had made progress with in the past. They're just small details, so we're not shaken. But now's the time to really buckle down and nail the specifics, get in a solid rhythm of the show, and know our lines in our sleep! We've always had a strong foundation and connection to the characters and each other, but now we're a little more than a week away from opening. And this is when I prefer to set everything into somewhat of a loose routine where there's still room to grow, but we can expect what to achieve in each performance and how it will all play out (not that we get stale or anticipate things in the moment, just that we have a clear guide to follow). We've had lots of time to play with different deliveries, and discoveries will continue to happen as they should, but overarchingly it's good to get in a pattern for how the show plays out and to keep improving in the remaining rehearsals.

Fool: Top & Build

Within each beat (broken down section of a scene) there's a mini journey in the action between the characters that needs to build up to a climax before the next beat switches intentions or the situation between them. With each line and each new idea or emotion from every character in the scene, the actors need to keep building on and topping each others' stakes within the beat to climb toward the end point.

Without spoiling anything about the play, I'm including a small beat from the play as an example and will break down the thought process between each line to explain (overly simplified).

MAY: How many times have you done this to me?
          (May starts frustrated and tired of Eddie's empty promises)
EDDIE: What.
MAY: Suckered me into some dumb little fantasy and then dropped me like a hot rock. How many times has that happened?
          (May is upset with Eddie for hurting her in the past and never changing. She's fed up.)
EDDIE: It's no fantasy.
          (Denial from Eddie)
MAY: It's all a fantasy.
          (This line tops the previous one from Eddie, shooting him down.)
EDDIE: And I never dropped you either.
          (More denial piles on as he tries to justify his past, especially having just been stifled by May's line.)
MAY: No, you just disappeared!
          (Her pain is still fresh, and she feels his claim doesn't hold water, so her frustration builds.)
EDDIE: Well I'm here now aren't I?
          (Eddie fights back, trying to prove that he's changed.)
MAY: Well, praise Jesus God!
          (She resorts to sarcasm to cut down Eddie for his past mistakes.)
EDDIE: I'm gonna' take care of you May. I am. I'm gonna' stick with you no matter what. I promise.
          (Eddie continues to fight harder to convince her and get her back...)
MAY: Get outa' here.
          (She's heard enough! She's done believing his false promises by now, even if she still loves him.)

The "Top and Build" philosophy doesn't mean get louder and louder in a shouting match, it has more depth to it. It means to layer on the intensity of emotion and intention within each line. Why does your character say those words? There's always an inner thought process underlying the situation.

Fool: Operative words

While I’ve been on vacation visiting my husband, it’s been good to keep a few things in mind while practicing my lines and reviewing beats of the play. Bo has given us some great notes during rehearsal that have definitely helped our performances grow stronger.

Picking Operative Words is one of the first things you do as an actor when you're diving into the script. But sometimes the choices that make sense in your head don't come out as clearly as you think, and that's where the director comes in and helps to clarify your intentions. So occasionally Operative Word choices in lines will change. For example: I have a line early in the play when I'm arguing with Eddie where I tell him that "I'm not goin' back to that idiot trailer is that's what you think." I had been emphasizing idiot in the heat of the moment, but Bo corrected me and asked me to emphasize trailer because it's more clear that way, and it's also the first time we hear that word mentioned in the play, so it's important to lay that groundwork for later. It can be a challenge to alter your Operative Word choices after being memorized, but luckily it's not at all too late in the game and I've had a little break to go back over the script thoroughly.

Another useful rule in choosing Operative Words for your delivery is to emphasize repetition. (Examples in our script include words like: torchure, disappear, story). Any time there's a significant, unique word repeated in the script, it's wise to give that word importance because the playwright chose his (or her) words for a reason. May first says "torchure" in a very threatening way, and then later in a moment that reveals deep pain, and it's important to emphasize the variety. Then Eddie uses the word later in a sarcastic, teasing way, and it assists the actor to use the knowledge and significance of Sam Shepard's word choice to his advantage!

Fool: A Dedicated Team

Respect. Cooperation. Dedication. These are all vital qualities you need from a team to have a production you can be proud of! And I'm having the BEST time with this rehearsal process because everyone involved is investing so much time and effort and going above and beyond to make Fool For Love a success!

Alex (playing Eddie) and I have stayed after rehearsal to run lines a few nights, and it has really paid off! We were able to get the scripts out of our hands very quickly. I really admire fellow actors who want to get the lines right and get them down as soon as possible so that we're free to accomplish more during rehearsal without needing a script in one hand! Plus it's fun to play and explore new interpretations and discuss our take on things together. I've had a lot of fun working with and getting to know Alex so far, and the extra time spent outside of rehearsal definitely adds to our connection on stage.

Jeff Ircink, playing the role of the old man, was memorized almost immediately, and he brings so much depth to the telling of his stories! His character mostly has a few chunks of monologues, and Bo Johnson (director) could easily plug him in seperately, but having him present during rehearsals helps to develop more of a connection between May, Eddie and The Old Man. I'm sure Jeff couldn't help wondering how his time could have been better spent while Alex and I struggled through working out our fight sequence last week, but we greatly appreciate his patience and assistance with line reading, since we didn't have a stage manager during our first week. - Shout out to Aaron Kopec (owner of The Alchemist) for stepping in!

Derek plays Martin, which is a character with less lines, but there is no such thing as a small part, only a small actor! And Derek proves it because he also comes to rehearsal memorized and always ready to work and experiment with different line deliveries. It's so great to be able to depend on everyone in the cast and be free to explore and create together... Sometimes when you're trying new acting choices, they don't always work, but it's so helpful to work in an encouraging environment that won't judge your new ideas. The only way to find new interpretations and improve is to let the creative juices flow!

And I absolutely LOVE working with Bo. He's a fantastic director! He's so supportive and collaborative. He's got so many specific ideas for the production and opinions about the lines and the characters' relationships, but he works with us to build on what we feel about everything too. It's so much fun, it's all play! Each day I'm so eager to get to rehearsal and solidify things we've discussed and discover even more little moments in the play, and it's all thanks to the wonderful, encouraging and collaborative environment that Bo established from the beginning! He's right there with us every moment of the way, invested in each beat, in each line! And that's exactly the way I love to work with a director, where we're all on the same page with each other and are heavily invested in every detail of the play. We even finish each others' sentences sometimes when we review and discuss the things we've acheived already or what we still need to accomplish in the remaining rehearsals. That's when you know you're a great team! And I couldn't be happier about the people I'm working with at The Alchemist!!!

Fool: monologue

May's monologue at the end of the play is such a long internal journey! In yesterday's rehearsal we began working her monologue where she tells the story that finally reveals the shattering truth. It's quite a lot to process and develop! But we discovered that it has the most impact if it starts out small and can have somewhere to build up to...

I landed in Houston this afternoon to visit Matthew, but Bo left me with some great notes to process on my few days off. I'll be perfecting lines, revisiting beats and interpretations, and blogging about my reflections and new ideas as I review the script these next few days!

Fool: Dialect recording

On my way to record my good friend Jose's accent for May's character development! He isn't Mexican, but I think it'll serve the purpose we're after. I'm not going to portray a full on accent, just hints of one...

Fool: Blocking

We made a ton of progress in the first week of rehearsal! I'm totally pumped! The cast is pretty decently off-book and we've blocked the majority of the play already and have begun diving deeper into the scenes to find different levels and connections between the characters! It's all very exciting!

So far we've had 7 rehearsals. The first two were spent just reading and picking apart the text together, and then the next two were used to block the first half of the piece, which involves a lot of yin/yang and emotional see-sawing between Eddie and May. There's so much conflict between them, even within their own minds and feelings about each other. I hate you! Don't leave! Kiss me. Don't touch me! Fine!!! It's a lot of intensity and complexity including some stage combat and a ton of emotions, so it's encouraging that we've already got a solid grounding between blocking and pacing of line delivery. And we've even made good progress with finding different layers within our Eddie&May relationship! Then yesterday we continued blocking with Martin's entrance, the outsider and perhaps the sole character who isn't twisted.

We were already at that point of pushing through without our scripts last week. It's one of the frustrating stages of rehearsal because as you struggle with searching for your line, you lose a lot of the specifics that were talked about and decided on with the director, so it slows the process down. But I'm extremely confident with where we're at because usually this stage doesn't happen until later in the rehearsal process, so that's reassuring... However, we have a very short rehearsal schedule, only 3 1/2 weeks, and I'm visiting my husband Matthew in Houston for the second half of this week, so when I get back we'll only have a week and a half left!

Fool: hints of an accent

Bo wants to play up some of the commentary that Sam Shepard, the playwright of Fool For Love, makes about America's culture clashing through my character. We're thinking about taking May in a unique direction by trying to make her partially of Mexican decent.

I've begun tanning a little, I'm temporarily dying my hair darker, and of course costumes always help. But to really make this interpretation work and have a successful impact, we're considering trying to work in a slight accent slip into her speech when she loses her temper, and especially as she goes into the reflection about her mother, who we're suggesting was hispanic. The play questions reality vs fantasy and denial, so this artistic choice could fit into the surreal nature of the performance.

I'm very excited about the potential for this choice, but I'm also very nervous to pull it off right!

Fool For Love: First Read Through

I week ago from today began the first day of rehearsal and we had a great time reading through the play twice and talking about lots of ideas and themes. I'm so excited to work with this intimate group of people. Everyone brought a lot to the table, and it was great to start out on such a strong foot and dig deep into the script already. It was clear that everyone had done their homework and came prepared to get down to work! There are lots of interpretations and levels to each character and relationship, and I can't wait to get on our feet and keep discovering more and more with this team!

There's something about MAY

This is my third role in the last few years where my character's name is May, and I've enjoyed each one more and more! (In Common Hours, Last Train To Nibroc, and now Fool For Love)

My birthday is in May, and I love the mild weather in this month and all the blooming flowers...

I also really like the band Mae. And one of my favorite songs "Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls has a lyric where Johnny Rzeznik sings to a girl named May to run away or get married <3

I think it's written in the stars. Or maybe my name was May in another life...